I thought I had seen the worst of it all, but this one just takes the cake. And the very fact that it happened in real life makes it far more... disgusting.
Read this article
I cannot believe this. A woman dies on an airplane, and the stewards put her body in the first class compartment, right smack next to another man, of all places.
I can just imagine the kind of lawsuits that could arise from this: sue for negligence in duty, sue for causing unnecessary emotional distress, sue for causing a possible panic attack (or any other panic-related or breathing disorders for that matter, if the person concerned has them)...
I understand they were working in difficult circumstances. They couldn't have put the body in the flight attendant's seat, since it would have blocked the flight attendant's access to the galleys, which is against FAA regulations.
They couldn't have put the body in the toilet, since it's rather obvious that the toilets can't be locked, and coming upon a dead body in an enclosed space would probably cause a heart attack more readily than would having one not in such close proximity. It could possibly also raise issues of disrespect.
However, I think it was really incredibly irresponsible to put the body right next to a sleeping man. Here's an excerpt from the man's interview:
"I didn't have a clue what was going on. The stewards just plonked the body down without saying a thing. I remember looking at this frail, sparrow-like woman and thinking she was very ill"
Apparently, the stewards didn't deem it necessary to at least inform him that they were placing a corpse right next to him. Only when he questioned them did he get an answer.
If I were him I'd have gotten a panic attack, maybe even a heart attack, and possibly be the second dead person on the flight. Then the stewards would have ANOTHER case on their hands.
...
They could have covered her with a blanket at least.
But wait, that WOULD be a dead giveaway (pun intended) that there was a corpse in the plane, would it not?? Perhaps if it were in the economy cabin, it would have caused a lot more reactions. After all, the people who travel first class usually are sparse.
It's going to be frigging hard to sue, seeing as there is no legal precedent for it, and I doubt even an experienced lawyer can get much out of this.
I guess that's it then.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Conservapedia
Great.
Just when you thought the Internet couldn't get any more ridiculous, it surprises you.
Again.
The worst thing is, it wasn't intended to be ridiculous, but somehow, it turned out so.
No surprise really.
http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page
Bahahaha, a SPINOFF of the well-known Wikipedia - a relatively credible source so far, but one which you need to use with caution.
First off.
Ridiculous thing number 1:
WTF!
That US law doesn't even cover vandalism. Good grief, you need to fire your lawyer and hire a better one.
Ridiculous thing number 2:
"Read what Wikipedia conceals at Examples of Bias in Wikipedia and abortion."
Lol, very amusing. A massive community-maintained encyclopedia, with close to 1.7 million articles in the English section alone, having how many biased articles pointed out?
30+? Is that all you can do?
Not saying that those are the only biased articles in Wikipedia, given that a community-maintained project necessarily is biased one way or another - but the constant editing ensures at least a somewhat even balance.
But your wiki? Your beloved Conservapedia? No more than 8000 articles, and already close to half of them are biased.
Hm, let's see: even using BCE and CE IS considered biased. We have to use BC and AD now, do we?
Ridiculous thing number 3:
It's NICE to finally see that someone in Conservapedia realized Japan IS in East Asia, and that Brazil IS in South America after all. Because someone didn't seem to know their geography before they wrote jack shit.
Just when you thought the Internet couldn't get any more ridiculous, it surprises you.
Again.
The worst thing is, it wasn't intended to be ridiculous, but somehow, it turned out so.
No surprise really.
http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page
Bahahaha, a SPINOFF of the well-known Wikipedia - a relatively credible source so far, but one which you need to use with caution.
First off.
Ridiculous thing number 1:
Minors under 16 years use this site.
- Posting of obscenity here is punishable by up to 10 years in jail under 18 USC § 1470.
- Vandalism is punishable up to 10 years in jail per 18 USC § 1030. We will trace your IP address and give it to authorities if necessary.
That US law doesn't even cover vandalism. Good grief, you need to fire your lawyer and hire a better one.
Ridiculous thing number 2:
"Read what Wikipedia conceals at Examples of Bias in Wikipedia and abortion."
Lol, very amusing. A massive community-maintained encyclopedia, with close to 1.7 million articles in the English section alone, having how many biased articles pointed out?
30+? Is that all you can do?
Not saying that those are the only biased articles in Wikipedia, given that a community-maintained project necessarily is biased one way or another - but the constant editing ensures at least a somewhat even balance.
But your wiki? Your beloved Conservapedia? No more than 8000 articles, and already close to half of them are biased.
Hm, let's see: even using BCE and CE IS considered biased. We have to use BC and AD now, do we?
Ridiculous thing number 3:
It's NICE to finally see that someone in Conservapedia realized Japan IS in East Asia, and that Brazil IS in South America after all. Because someone didn't seem to know their geography before they wrote jack shit.
Friday, March 9, 2007
You, Yourself, Yellow
Man, it's one thing to have an inflated ego, but it's completely another to have that proven irrevocably and convincingly by a machine.
And it's Wikipedia, at that. How cool is that?
Take a look at this:
Got this lot of stuff while I was surfing Wikipedia. I highlighted the box in red, and underlined all the... amusing entries in red too.
I established the Blue Hill Meteorological Observatory in 1885, which maintains the longest-running meteorological record of any observation site in the United States.
Wow, man, even I didn't know I could be so useful. The line "you hold 15 entries in the Guinness Book of Records for material properties, including best insulator and lowest-density solid?" brought me a stomach ache, sufficient to say. The line "is a rare infection of subcutaneous tissues that results in the you of the flesh?" is rather depressing though, however it doesn't make sense so I'm inclined to discard it :)
Awesome. I love me.
And it's Wikipedia, at that. How cool is that?
Take a look at this:
Got this lot of stuff while I was surfing Wikipedia. I highlighted the box in red, and underlined all the... amusing entries in red too.
I established the Blue Hill Meteorological Observatory in 1885, which maintains the longest-running meteorological record of any observation site in the United States.
Wow, man, even I didn't know I could be so useful. The line "you hold 15 entries in the Guinness Book of Records for material properties, including best insulator and lowest-density solid?" brought me a stomach ache, sufficient to say. The line "is a rare infection of subcutaneous tissues that results in the you of the flesh?" is rather depressing though, however it doesn't make sense so I'm inclined to discard it :)
Awesome. I love me.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
The Divine Punch
A really, really, odd question once popped up.
X asked incredulously:
"How can anyone believe in something they haven't seen?? Has anyone ever seen God at all?"
I felt pressed to answer.
"No, He filed a restraining order to the Supreme Court of Justice against you, and therefore you can't see him. And no, I'm not telling you where He is, or you'll continue your stalking."
But seriously, why the hell do people always want a literal answer to everything? In any religion, when the people say they've "seen" God, they just mean they acknowledge him, in whatever form or manner that happens to be so for them. Why in the world do you have to take it SO. BLOODY. LITERALLY?
Geez, just get an imagination, will you? Learn some basics on metaphors, similes and other language devices, and you may JUST make your way through this world. :)
I seriously wish I had a Divine Punch or something to deal with stupid people like this.
X asked incredulously:
"How can anyone believe in something they haven't seen?? Has anyone ever seen God at all?"
I felt pressed to answer.
"No, He filed a restraining order to the Supreme Court of Justice against you, and therefore you can't see him. And no, I'm not telling you where He is, or you'll continue your stalking."
But seriously, why the hell do people always want a literal answer to everything? In any religion, when the people say they've "seen" God, they just mean they acknowledge him, in whatever form or manner that happens to be so for them. Why in the world do you have to take it SO. BLOODY. LITERALLY?
Geez, just get an imagination, will you? Learn some basics on metaphors, similes and other language devices, and you may JUST make your way through this world. :)
I seriously wish I had a Divine Punch or something to deal with stupid people like this.
And the Lord spake, saying, "And in the beginning, there was the Hand. First shalt thou close the Five Fingers of the Hand, no more, no less. Five shalt be the number of fingers thou shalt close, and the number of fingers closed shalt be five. Six thou shalt not close, neither close thou four, excepting that thou proceed to five. Seven is out of the question.:) End.
Once thou closest five fingers, five being the fifth number, thou shalt form the Holy Fist. Upon formation of thy Fist, thou then shalt proceed to launch thy Holy Fist at thy foe, whom being naughty in my sight, shalt kick the bucket.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
SPS
Hmm...
SPS...
Before I go into what SPS actually is, its specific details, and what it spells for mankind in general, I must say I really, really, really detest going into crowded shopping malls.
It's not just the crowd. It's the difficulty in navigating your way through the throngs of people, whilst having them rub your mucus, sweat, dandruff and all that onto your nice new shirt you just bought yesterday. What's worse, people tend to organize contests/shows in the malls, in the most spacious places, such that it suddenly becomes packed with people, and it's hell to get through.
It sure would be a good idea to organize a "MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH A CROWDED MALL CONTEST".
Speaking of which, this brings me to SPS.
SPS stands for Spontaneous Parking Syndrome. What the hell is wrong with people? These people, traversing across the mall, tend to stop for absolutely no rhyme or reason. These people, I notice, tend to be of the opposite gender, but it goes both ways; some guys do it as well. You'd probably end up crashing into a group of people which suddenly parks itself right in the center of a narrow chokepoint, conveniently blocking your path. And then it's YOUR turn to say, "Oh, I'm sorry!" with them glaring at you, when it should be the other way round.
Spontaneous Parking Syndrome.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sarge, Private Perks reporting for duty, mission code N472LN3, over."
"Acknowledged, Perks. How are our boys doing?"
"Fine, sarge. Howitzer tanks rolling, ETA 1427."
"Everything's going as planned. Transmission out."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Shit, sarge, one of our tanks got stuck! Looks like a trench, sarge. Over."
"Damn, I need to go take a look. Tell the men to prepare to break for cover and hold positions, over."
"Acknowledged."
...
"SHIT! IT'S NOT JUST A GODDAMNED TRENCH! IT'S THE DREADED SPONTANEOUS PARKING SYNDROME!"
"What, sarge? What's that?"
"Spontaneous Parking Syndrome! That shit our commanding officer told us about! It's the enemy's secret weapon."
"I thought our tanks were invulnerable sarge?"
"You stupid fool, that's just propaganda. How the hell do you think they'd have gotten you to join?"
"O...kay..."
"They're now using "Inconsiderate" and "Unreasonable" branded weapons! TELL THE MEN TO BREAK FOR COVER! FALL BACK!"
"No, sarge! I see it! It's the revolution!"
"Shut up, Private Parts!"
"It's Perks, sir."
"Perks. Shut up."
"No sir, it's the revolution! We must join the revolution sarge! The Spontaneous Parking Syndrome is a symbol of divine and holy power, sarge! That's what my grandmam told me sarge!"
"None of your superstitious bullshit, Private. I'm the commanding officer here; I give the orders, the buck starts HERE."
"SIR BUT IT'S THE TRUTH! WE'LL ALL BE LIBERATED BY PARKING OURSELVES IN THE CENTER OF NOWHERE AND BLOCKING ALL PROGRESS..."
"I order you, Private, give the order now.
"Sarge, please, we mus-"
"It's a now or never moment Private. Your chance to get a bloody promotion. You know how long you've been a private? 2 BLOODY YEARS, THAT'S HOW LONG."
"Sir, with all due respect, sir-"
"I SAID, GIVE THE BLOODY ORDER NOW, OR I'LL CUT YOU DOWN!"
"Sarge, no!"
"Is this mutiny, Private?"
"No but, sarge..."
"No butts. That's my order."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be continued.
Now continued.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We have absolutely no choice. We must begin extermination of the Spontaneous Parking Syndrome."
"How, Sarge?"
"Classified information, Private Par-..."
"It's Perks, sir, PERKS."
"...-ts, but I'll tell you all the same. It's known as the Elbow."
"Sir?"
"Yes, our ultimate weapon to counter them, the bastards. The Elbow is always useful in a demanding situation, when you feel yourself hemmed in, in all directions by your foes, then unleash your wrath in the form of the Elbow, and they'll all fall to their knees groaning!"
"Shit, sarge, that sounds nasty!"
"They deserve it, the bastards!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Here they come, Private. Here's your chance to make a name for yourself."
"But sarge, they're the saints, the holiest-"
"What the hell did I tell you about that hocus-pocus? This is your chance to get promoted and jump-started out of this hellhole! Shut your trap and do what I say!"
"Sarge, I protest!"
"Press the red button."
"Sarge, no.."
"Press the red button."
"Please, sir, no!"
"I SAID, PRESS THE MOTHERFUCKING RED BUTTON!"
Deet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Phew. I think that was all of them."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"HOLY FUCK, THEY'RE BACK!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fin.
SPS...
Before I go into what SPS actually is, its specific details, and what it spells for mankind in general, I must say I really, really, really detest going into crowded shopping malls.
It's not just the crowd. It's the difficulty in navigating your way through the throngs of people, whilst having them rub your mucus, sweat, dandruff and all that onto your nice new shirt you just bought yesterday. What's worse, people tend to organize contests/shows in the malls, in the most spacious places, such that it suddenly becomes packed with people, and it's hell to get through.
It sure would be a good idea to organize a "MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH A CROWDED MALL CONTEST".
Speaking of which, this brings me to SPS.
SPS stands for Spontaneous Parking Syndrome. What the hell is wrong with people? These people, traversing across the mall, tend to stop for absolutely no rhyme or reason. These people, I notice, tend to be of the opposite gender, but it goes both ways; some guys do it as well. You'd probably end up crashing into a group of people which suddenly parks itself right in the center of a narrow chokepoint, conveniently blocking your path. And then it's YOUR turn to say, "Oh, I'm sorry!" with them glaring at you, when it should be the other way round.
Spontaneous Parking Syndrome.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sarge, Private Perks reporting for duty, mission code N472LN3, over."
"Acknowledged, Perks. How are our boys doing?"
"Fine, sarge. Howitzer tanks rolling, ETA 1427."
"Everything's going as planned. Transmission out."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Shit, sarge, one of our tanks got stuck! Looks like a trench, sarge. Over."
"Damn, I need to go take a look. Tell the men to prepare to break for cover and hold positions, over."
"Acknowledged."
...
"SHIT! IT'S NOT JUST A GODDAMNED TRENCH! IT'S THE DREADED SPONTANEOUS PARKING SYNDROME!"
"What, sarge? What's that?"
"Spontaneous Parking Syndrome! That shit our commanding officer told us about! It's the enemy's secret weapon."
"I thought our tanks were invulnerable sarge?"
"You stupid fool, that's just propaganda. How the hell do you think they'd have gotten you to join?"
"O...kay..."
"They're now using "Inconsiderate" and "Unreasonable" branded weapons! TELL THE MEN TO BREAK FOR COVER! FALL BACK!"
"No, sarge! I see it! It's the revolution!"
"Shut up, Private Parts!"
"It's Perks, sir."
"Perks. Shut up."
"No sir, it's the revolution! We must join the revolution sarge! The Spontaneous Parking Syndrome is a symbol of divine and holy power, sarge! That's what my grandmam told me sarge!"
"None of your superstitious bullshit, Private. I'm the commanding officer here; I give the orders, the buck starts HERE."
"SIR BUT IT'S THE TRUTH! WE'LL ALL BE LIBERATED BY PARKING OURSELVES IN THE CENTER OF NOWHERE AND BLOCKING ALL PROGRESS..."
"I order you, Private, give the order now.
"Sarge, please, we mus-"
"It's a now or never moment Private. Your chance to get a bloody promotion. You know how long you've been a private? 2 BLOODY YEARS, THAT'S HOW LONG."
"Sir, with all due respect, sir-"
"I SAID, GIVE THE BLOODY ORDER NOW, OR I'LL CUT YOU DOWN!"
"Sarge, no!"
"Is this mutiny, Private?"
"No but, sarge..."
"No butts. That's my order."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be continued.
Now continued.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We have absolutely no choice. We must begin extermination of the Spontaneous Parking Syndrome."
"How, Sarge?"
"Classified information, Private Par-..."
"It's Perks, sir, PERKS."
"...-ts, but I'll tell you all the same. It's known as the Elbow."
"Sir?"
"Yes, our ultimate weapon to counter them, the bastards. The Elbow is always useful in a demanding situation, when you feel yourself hemmed in, in all directions by your foes, then unleash your wrath in the form of the Elbow, and they'll all fall to their knees groaning!"
"Shit, sarge, that sounds nasty!"
"They deserve it, the bastards!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Here they come, Private. Here's your chance to make a name for yourself."
"But sarge, they're the saints, the holiest-"
"What the hell did I tell you about that hocus-pocus? This is your chance to get promoted and jump-started out of this hellhole! Shut your trap and do what I say!"
"Sarge, I protest!"
"Press the red button."
"Sarge, no.."
"Press the red button."
"Please, sir, no!"
"I SAID, PRESS THE MOTHERFUCKING RED BUTTON!"
Deet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Phew. I think that was all of them."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"HOLY FUCK, THEY'RE BACK!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fin.
Monday, March 5, 2007
The Great Question!
The answer. To the great question. The one and only question that dwarfs all your algebra, all your calculus, all your physics and all your theology.
The question: Life, Universe, and Everything.
I CAN ANSWER THIS ONE! ME! ME! TEACHER! PICK ME!
And a giant voice booms out of the rolling clouds, "YES, YOU MAY ANSWER THE QUESTION. THE QUESTION OF LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING!"
Awesome. Go, me!
Oh shit, wait, it's not a question. Questions need question marks right?
No duh! So wokay, let's add some.
----------------------------
What's the meaning of life?
Shit, what kind of answer you expecting? It's the same as asking "What's the meaning of mouldy Swiss cheese?". Aww, disappointing. :( I had expected to be able to answer.
But hey, there's more.
Why are we here?
Oh shit, what the hell. Where else were you expecting to be? Buried in the depths of a hot sun twenty kilometers in a dense fireball of hydrogen? Shit! I guess your deity put you in the wrong place eh? No worries man! I'll note your deity to drop you somewhere in that vicinity in your next lifetime.
What's the meaning of everything?
Kinda the same as question 1, really. But there's a definitive answer for this one. I mean, YAY! I get to answer a question. WOOTS!
The answer is...
Is...
Is...
Is...
Is...
Is...
FORTY-TWO!
I mean, yeah, that's the answer, all right. And if you still haven't gotten my posting style yet, highlight the above to find the answer.
Mm.
The question: Life, Universe, and Everything.
I CAN ANSWER THIS ONE! ME! ME! TEACHER! PICK ME!
And a giant voice booms out of the rolling clouds, "YES, YOU MAY ANSWER THE QUESTION. THE QUESTION OF LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING!"
Awesome. Go, me!
Oh shit, wait, it's not a question. Questions need question marks right?
No duh! So wokay, let's add some.
----------------------------
What's the meaning of life?
Shit, what kind of answer you expecting? It's the same as asking "What's the meaning of mouldy Swiss cheese?". Aww, disappointing. :( I had expected to be able to answer.
But hey, there's more.
Why are we here?
Oh shit, what the hell. Where else were you expecting to be? Buried in the depths of a hot sun twenty kilometers in a dense fireball of hydrogen? Shit! I guess your deity put you in the wrong place eh? No worries man! I'll note your deity to drop you somewhere in that vicinity in your next lifetime.
What's the meaning of everything?
Kinda the same as question 1, really. But there's a definitive answer for this one. I mean, YAY! I get to answer a question. WOOTS!
The answer is...
Is...
Is...
Is...
Is...
Is...
FORTY-TWO!
I mean, yeah, that's the answer, all right. And if you still haven't gotten my posting style yet, highlight the above to find the answer.
Mm.
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